Panic! At the attic

A few weeks ago I was chatting with my cousin and she was asking me how things were going since I have a show coming up. I gave a noncommittal reply and said things were going. She’s a teacher, so she started to give me suggestions on how to balance my work and I shrugged her off with a ‘yeah, yeah’ answer which lead to me waking up the next day in cold sweats of anxiety that I was pretty much screwed.

It ended up being the kick in the butt that I needed and I wrote tasks for every day leading up to the show so that I would actually have some inventory and not be sitting at the booth trying to sell hugs.

This whole process has been pretty enlightening and I have discovered that I work much better in the morning, and so instead of sleeping in, I’ll have to make time for an afternoon nap instead. #MyHeartBreaks. #FirstWorldProblems. It has also been helpful to see how much I can tolerate to make in a day before I want to throw my sewing machine out the window.

I am rounding the last week, so from this point onward until the show date,  my brain has decided it is time to be filled with complete dread that I won’t sell a damn thing at this show and that all my ideas are actually made of 100% Grade ‘A’ cow dung.

Only Brian truly knows the extent of my neuroses, but it gets pretty bad. I sprayed water at him in the car last week as a joke and he vowed Lex Talionis. Needless to say, I now live in constant fear that he will retaliate by scaring the shit out of me. I absolutely hate being scared and the build-up makes it even worse. Life is basically intolerable until I forget, which is probably also the precise moment he exacts his revenge.

Luuee will be at the Toronto Reference Library for the SummerSixteen Pop-up Market hosted by the Toronto Urban Collective on August 7 from 11AM to 6PM.

The smell of failure

I like to refer to the crown of my head as the ‘smell spot’. I’m lazy and I don’t like to wash my hair every day, so to gauge how bad it is, I have Brian stick his nose in there and smell it. 90% of the time, it’s pretty stank. I could rub the top of my head and smell my hand myself (which I do, because there’s a sick pleasure in smelling your scalp), but it kills me every time I successfully convince him to waft in the odor for me.

I didn’t get into the One of a Kind Christmas Show, and I imagine the failure stinks as bad as two days of unwashed hair.

I’ve been riding this high since I opened my shop. Good sales, Finalist in the Etsy Awards, attending my first show in September, but now, no One of a Kind!

In truth, I wasn’t happy with my application after I submitted it. I’m still searching for my voice and vision, and since I applied I’ve refined it. It still stings though and I’m sad I didn’t get in.

Now it’s time to search for other fall market shows and get my name out there. I’ll be at the Etsy York Region Made in Canada Show on Sept 24 2016, so I hope to see you all there!

In the mean time, I will use my Asian powers of superstition and get a Neko Cat to change my fortune.

I’m a Finalist!

Last week I was complaining to Brian about how the orders were depleting my fabric supply and it made me sad that some of the fabric was going to be gone. I joked that I should just close up shop and call it a day.

Then this morning, a glorious event occurred! I was notified that I was a finalist in the Etsy Awards for Canada!

EtsyAwards_Aboutslide_Country

I stomped, pooped, and did about 60 victory laps before I collapsed on the floor.

I’d like to say that being nominated is enough, but really, victory would be so much sweeter. Please vote for me! The grand prize is 10,000!

Sudo apt-get server-crash-and-burn and other tales

Lately I’ve been feeling sluggish, and while I can make it to the top of the stairs, that’s as far as I will go, and I’ll just sleep there until some kid asks me to go play video games with him and then I’ll get out of my funk.

Things at my shop seem to be going well, and I think I finally have to pick up the pace and get pretty serious about it. This is absolutely terrifying to me, and mixed with seasonal allergies (you know who you are, POLLEN) it is probably the cause of some anxiety and aforementioned sluggishness. Nothing like a few successes to cause you to have complete self-doubt about what you are doing.

So to deal with it head on, I decided to work on my website, which led me to break the whole damn thing. I should have known when it said something about removing applications that the jig was up, but I trusted you apt-get!! I trusted you :(. So I spent all night recreating my server and here I am! I bet your heart light was at a standstill this whole time.

I know I promised other stories in the title, but that was a lie.

I still have nothing to say

When I created this blog, I only wanted to write about things that were meaningful. Well, two months have passed since my last post and I have discovered I never have anything meaningful to say.

So instead of agonizing and overthinking what to write and getting so flustered I just give up and play Tap Titans, here’s my next post, chalk full of bullshit.

Before you all get in a tizzy and say, ‘Hey Nerd! You said you’d do all these things, did you even?!’, let’s re-visit the list:

  1. Sew all the fabric!
    I’m pretty sure I’ve sewn through maybe 0.005% of my fabric collection. To be fair though, I recognize now how absurd I was in buying so much. So I went and bought a few more since Fabricland is having its birthday sale.
  2. Get Instagram savvy and build a cult following.
    33 followers bitches! That’s a lot for me, because I truly am terrible at social media and I have basically 10 friends, half of which are my family. Also, it takes me a good 20 minutes to think up keywords and even then, its the same old shit. #Sew — #sewing? #sewingtime? #isuckatthisandimretarded
  3. Setup an online shop.
    Done! It’s freaking up!
  4. Profit!
    I did make some cash! Which I promptly blew on freaking jogging pants. They’re a staple for me now.
  5. Go through some Angular tutorials and see what all the fuss is about.
    Okay, I decided to learn some Laravel instead because PHP really is my bread and butter. It felt so good it was almost dirty when I wrote code that functioned.
  6. Write some code.
    See my response to 5.
  7. Become the Sun so I can travel around the world every day, and then, upon my death, burn out and take everyone with me.
    The solar panels are finally functional, which means I’m absorbing solar energy via proxy of my house, so, I mean, come on.

So, not to brag or anything, but I pretty much half-heartedly owned the shit out of that list!

Other things I’ve accomplished include:

  • Arguing with the squirrels in my yard (you know who you are)
  • Growing a pair and applying to the One of a Kind Show. I had intended to apply to more but my fear of rejection was crippling and I ‘missed’ the deadlines for two other shows
  • Learning a lot of Nicki Minaj rap lyrics

I could go on, but I don’t want to seem like a super woman.